The past definitely hurts. The things I've been through, those that I don't tell people, those that I keep to myself just because I don't want anyone to worry. Sometimes, I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words because I just don't really know how or what I'm feeling.
People's words really hurt sometimes. The things they say, the way they act or behave. It's like one day you're fine and dandy with them and the next, they're stabbing you in the back with a blunt knife.
But i've learned not to care about people like that. That they aren't worth my time or trouble, thanks to someone who's been talking to me a lot and just trying to bring me up when I feel like utter shit. Thing is, sometimes it's not that easy to just forget, no matter how much you want to, no matter how much you try.
What i'm really glad for are all the good memories, my birthday, my friends birthdays, new friends i've acquired who has actually began as just smoking buddies to people I really care a lot and trust. And I have Janeni and Nad, who are amazing, they see me at my worst but love me anyway.
Then there is that one person that no matter what I tell people, I don't seem to be able to forget because it's not easy. I've had him in my heart since I was 15 and it's not easy to forget one of your initial loves.
So for 2013, it's time for me to forget the past, to treat it like a distant memory, and to focus on my present. My studies, and the people who has been around me and never left no matter how shitty I was. These are the people I really appreciate, and I hope never to lose them.
This year, I'll work on myself. On my confidence and self-esteem, and try to work on being skinny. HAHA, but that's a joke. lol. Nevertheless, I will try my hardest, and if I fail, I will still learn to love myself anyway, and not count all my flaws. Maybe i'll look into the mirror one day and not hate the person I see.
